I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
