omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize