i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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