I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
