found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
