my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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