Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
