..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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