If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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