im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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