Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
