I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
