long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
