god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
