She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
