She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
