I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
