Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
