i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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