You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
