Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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