i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
