Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
