so that wasnt chicken after all
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
