Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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