I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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