Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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