Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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