I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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