I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
