just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
