Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
