I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
