The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
