I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
