she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
