Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize