You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
