I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
