I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize