Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
