He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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