I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize