Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
