Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
