his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
