I wish I could teleport
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
