when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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