I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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