shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have grass duct taped all over my body
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize