did you get engaged???
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
