Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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