Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
