i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
