So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
