just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just google imaged poop.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
