i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
