Sry I called you an 8
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
