if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so let's talk penis.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize