Your face is a jimmy john
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize