i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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