can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
vagina is talking i cant
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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