These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This baby is an asshole
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
