tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize